accountability

I'm so thankful for my friends, but I have a confession... we talk about accountability stuff, but even with some of my closest friends I sometimes I wear a mask and try to suppress whatever I'm struggling with and act as if it doesn't exist... which I hate because if we don't tell one another, how can we build each other up and encourage one another towards unity in Christ if we don't carry one another's burdens, and yes Jesus' burden is light, and He wants to carry our burdens, but God put us on earth with other humans to share and help one another (fellowship!)... God made us in His image, and He has such a desire to be with us, as we as humans share in that desire to be with people...

I have a huge fear of failing, yet I know that I do every day... I'm soooo thankful for God's mercy and grace!!!!! I started thinking because I realized that even though I've been really thirsty to read the Bible and really wanting to read all the books of the Bible I've not read before (I used to be intimidated by it because I thought that I could never catch up to those that were raised reading the Bible, where I was raised doing works in the Episcopal church) It's hard for me to put down my Bible at night, I want to keep reading and then what I do read it's hard to move on because I really want to soak in what I'm reading- praise be to Jesus that I have the rest of my life to keep learning and interacting with God's word...

Anyways, back on the subject, I realized that it's been a long time since I've prayed and just had a conversation with God... the drive back to Montgomery from 8th street at First Baptist Church in Opelika, I had a nice talk, and I was sorry and embarrased that I had allowed so much time to go by without talking to God... I've prayed, but it's almost like I was just going through the motions... Since I got real involved with Campus Crusade for Christ, I started journaling (especially prayer journaling when I went with them on a mission trip to China for 6 weeks the summer after my sophomore year)... Well I started thinking that maybe being a prayer leader might not be a good idea because right now I'm struggling with really just talking to God, I mean I pray, but I really need to get back to the heart of it (I need to reread "A Call to Prayer" by JC Ryle)... God is teaching me a lot... Sorry this is so long, but thanks for listening (reading)

Beauty

I think the world of all of my friends... A lot of times I don't understand why or how I'm so lucky that the Lord has blessed me so richly with the people that are in my life!

"All beautiful you are, my darling, There is no flaw in you!"- God (Beloved), Song of Songs 4:7

Content...
I just finished reading the book of Ecclesiastes- and it just reiterates that the things of this world are meaningless, and that we should enjoy this blink of an eye we have on earth in these human bodies...
"So I commend the enjoymeent of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun." Ecclesiastes 8:15

I'm so lucky to be enjoying so much waking up and going in to work early- They had to get me a set of keys because I always showed up early and would have to wait until someone else got there to let me in... so I get there and I make the first pot of coffee for everyone (I bring my own from home) and then I sit down and I don't want to leave... the Lord has blessed me with the directions he gave me to go into architecture and I enjoy it so much! I used to say I can't complain because I know that's where God wants me, and I know every day when he proves to me as the time flies by that he knows me better than I know myself!

I also am living with a friend from Auburn's parents (she's here too) but it is the biggest blessing! I have a family in Montgomery! and it's absolutely amazing to have Mehgan here too! She is an amazing encouraging Christian and her friendship blesses my life!

"Be happy, young man, while you are young and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless" Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down his friend can help him up, but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecclesiastes 4:9-10